Have you ever had anything “bad” done to you? Something horrible that we never want to forgive. We want to make that person pay. The truth is that we are hurting ourselves instead of hurting the person we are mad at.

Have you read the book Psycho Cybernetics? It is an amazing book that shows how our mind helps us get to our target. If we have the target and keep moving forward, we will get there because our mind makes it happen.

In this amazing book there is a section all around forgiveness. It is so powerful that you can use forgiveness to give yourself spiritual and emotional healing. You can find peace, happiness and contentment by forgiving.

Another thing we have to remember though is that we should not only forgive, but we must also forget.

Let’s look at an example.

Let’s say there is a cheating husband. The wife says she is going to forgive him but she will never forget it. We do this in all types of relationships. We say we have forgiven but we make sure we never forget it. The truth is, if we want to have a happy relationship, we need to both forgive and forget. If we say we forgive but we do not forget we often continue to punish that person and it becomes a very ugly situation. The best thing to do if we choose to forgive then we should also choose to forget.

When we forgive and forget, we are not saying what that person did was okay. We are saying that we are strong and that we do not want revenge. We are saying that we want to be happy instead of holding a grudge against someone.

We must also remember that we must forgive ourselves as well. No more beating ourselves up for mistakes and actions we have done in the past. We have to accept that we have made mistakes but then forgive ourselves. At that time, you thought that was the right way but now you don’t. That is why you have to forgive yourself. We must give other people the same grace. They are acting with the best they know how so we must not be upset with them.

Use forgiveness to heal yourself. Don’t think of it as a favor to the other person. You will feel so much better when you forgive.